Tim woke to hear Ethan sneezing around the kitchen as he did every morning, but this morning was different. This morning, there was a different tone to Ethan’s sneezes; today, the irritation didn’t seem to be to expel a particular allergen or irritant, but rather that the irritation was directed much more external irritant. They sounded angry.

 

Tim pulled on his jeans from last night and padded to the kitchen, just in time to watch Ethan catch a quick “HatChoo!” In his elbow.

 

“Bless you.” 

 

“Thank you.” Ethan responded, coolly.  “Coffee is ready.  Eggs will be in a minute.  Can you get the toast?”

 

Tim watched as he rubbed his nose with his forearm, then continued scrambling eggs.   Tim made toast then set it on the table as Ethan finished the eggs.  Ethan managed to slide the pan on the table, then hastily spin away for another “Atchoo!”

 

“Bless you.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Tim finished feeding his cat and sat down as Ethan sat across from him, expressionless, picked up his fork and began eating.

 

“Did you have a good time last night?”  Tim asked.  “Was the beach too hard on your allergies?”

 

“It was fun.”  Ethan’s tone was neutral.  “I like spending time with your friends.”

 

Tim took a bite as Ethan sneezed again, again, sounding angry.

 

“The beach is usually a pretty good place to take me, in terms of allergies,” Ethan offered up a small smile.

 

“Oh.   It’s just, I heard you get up for Benadryl last night.   And you seem to be sneezing more this morning…bonfire smoke?”

 

Ethan waved his hand away.  “You could say that.  I’ll be fine.”  He cleared his throat.   “I, uh, didn’t know you smoked.”

 

Tim looked confused for a minute, then sighed.   “I don’t.  Not really.”

 

“You looked awfully comfortable doing it last…Hatchoo! Last night.”  

 

“I only smoke once in awhile.”  Time was defensive.

 

“Tim, you have asthma.”  Ethan was blunt.

 

“Look, I only smoke when other people drink.”

 

It was Ethan’s turn to look confused.  

 

“Look, I don’t get on people for drinking.   Not drinking, that’s my thing.   I can’t drink, so I smoke.”

 

“You can’t drink?”

 

“You’re aware who my brother was, right?”

 

Ethan nodded.  Steve Fitzpatrick had been a household name…before he died…of a drug overdose.  

 

“I was going down that path.   Alex pulled me out.  Sent me to treatment.   I’ve been sober 8 years…but even with friends, if there’s alcohol…I’m not always comfortable.    I need to step away and, I smoke.   I only had 4.”

 

“Only?” Ethan stared at him, ready to start lecturing on the dangers of lung cancer.

 

Tim recognized that look.  “Look, I’m not on you because you had 3 drinks, am I?” His tone was cutting.

 

“Hatchoo!”  Ethan ducked his head down into his chest for a quick sneeze, more annoyed than angry this time.   Tim recognized the annoyed sound; Ethan hated sneezing when they were fighting…or on the verge of one.

 

“Yes, Tim, I had 3 drinks.  At a party.  With a designated driver.  Judging me for that?  When was the last time I drank?”

 

Tim bit his lip.  Ethan didn’t drink often, but he wasn’t the chain smoker Ethan was making him out to be.  “You don’t drink often.”  He sighed.  “I only smoke at things like that.  Not the quiet light drinking social functions.”

 

He sighed again.  “It’s hard.  You wouldn’t understand.”

 

Ethan sneezed again, a different kind of annoyed this time…the I wish this would quit annoyed.  “Is that why you go out and eat donuts without me?  Because you don’t want me to feel uncomfortable?”

 

Tim’s turn to look confused.   “What do donuts have to do with my smoking?”

 

“Because it took me a long time to feel comfortable with other people eating sweet things in front of me.  So, I guess, I kinda, maybe, know how you feel.   Like, vauguely.   I know addiction is different.  But I understand being the one who can’t have something in a group.  And feeling different.”

 

Tim nodded.   It was a reach, but Ethan was trying to understand.

 

“HatChoo!”

 

“So, if it wasn’t the beach, and it wasn’t the bonfire, what had you Benadryl-ing last night, and has you sneezing so much this morning?   And why the angry sneezes?”

 

“My sneezes weren’t angry…maybe a little irritated, but not angry.”

 

“They were totally angry.”

 

Ethan looked at him.  “You.  You didn’t shower or change your clothes last night.  Just got into bed.   Cigarette smoke kills my sinuses.   I didn’t want to keep you up sneezing, and I’m still sneezing this morning.  And, maybe, I was a little angry.”

 

“Oh.”  He responded as Ethan sneezed again.

 

“Look, I can’t make you comfortable.   I can try.  But I guess, if you have to smoke, shower and change after.  I can’t lay next to you all night again.”

 

Tim nodded, taking Ethan’s hand.  “Thanks for understanding.”  Ethan nodded back.