- Garden
Tim was back home visiting his mother and taking some time to wander through the garden in the backyard. He and his brothers had spent so much time weeding in there as kids. His mom had asked him to pick an assortment to place on the dinner table tonight.
He went through, picking the familiar flowers he had grown up with, that his mom had tended to lovingly, just as she had him and his siblings.
An unfamiliar blue plant caught his attention and he went over to inspect it closer. It was pretty, so he picked several of the flowers, adding them to the bouquet.
It was at dinner that night that he noticed his nose was running. And then came the sneezing. “Heyehhshoo, ehhshoo. Ehhshoo. Ehhshoo! Hehhshoo….hehh-Heyehhshoo!” He excused himself to blow his nose, noticing the tickle returned once he returned to the table. “He scrubbed at his nose, trying to forestall a sneeze. “What are those blue flowers?” He asked his mom, hand pressed against his nose. “Heyehhshoo, hayahshoo.”
“Bless you. Are you alright? I’m not sure? I think the wind blew their seeds in.”
“I think they’re making me sneeze.” He sniffled.
She whisked the vase away as he went to blow his nose again.
- Contagious
Jamie woke up with a headache and a sore throat.
“Ihhtschoo, Ihhhtschoo!” She sneezed, louder than usual, wincing at the pain in her throat.
The sneezing woke Freddie who sat up next to her.
“Hiitschoo, iihhtshoo, Huhh…ihhhtschoo.”
“Bless you.” He said gently, leaning over to kiss her good morning.
She put her hand out to stop him. “Unlike every other morning where I wake up sneezing,” she said, noticing her voice was croaky, “I have a feeling today, I’m probably contagious.”
- Heat
”Hehhhh–CHUHHH.” Another powerful sneeze ripped through Alex. He groaned and rubbed his neck.
Freddie noticed. “You ok?”
“All this sneezing is really jacking up my neck.” He admitted, sniffling. His neck had bothered him for years, and the jerking forward with each sneeze wasn’t doing it any favors. “I’ll be glad when I’m over this cold.” He sighed.
Freddie shot him a sympathetic look. “Ibuprofen?”
“Not helping. Huhhhchuhh. Ughh.”
“Ice?”
Alex shivered. “I’m chilled enough, thanks.”
“Heat, then?”
“That actually sounds good.”
Freddie retrieved a hot pack and placed it on Alex’s neck, noticing him relax visibly when he did so.
- Winter
In Minnesota, Jamie had loved winter. If anything, it gave her four months where her allergies weren’t bad.
Winter in LA, however, was a different story. It didn’t snow. It didn’t freeze.
She still got a reprieve. But not like at home.
“Ihhhtschoo.”
Freddie watched her scrub at her eyes.
“Ihhtschoo.” Their lawn had just been mowed.
She blew her nose. “If I was back home, there would be a foot of snow over that grass.” She grumbled, rubbing her eyes again.
Freddie handed her a bottle of eye drops. “And you’d be complaining about the cold.”
- Soft
It was the first time Alex heard her sneeze. Or more, saw her.
Her head dipped forward with quiet, breathy “ihhshoo” that he barely heard from across the room.
“Bless you,” he said, hesitantly, not sure if he should call attention to it.
“Hold off on that,” she told him. “I think there’s one more.” She grabbed a paper towel from above the sink and waited a few seconds. “Ihhshhh.” She sneezed softly, crumpling the paper towel and throwing it in the trash.
- Powerless
”ihhtschoo. Ihhhtschoo. Ihhschoo.”
Jamie managed a brief moment between seconds to switch out her tissues.
“Ihhhschooo! Huhhh….huhhihhtschoo, ihhshoo, schooo, shoo! Tschoo! Ihhtschoo.”
A quick noseblow and a tissue swap.
“Huhh…uhhh….Ihhtschahhh! Ihhh…Ihhschoo! Huhh-uhihschoo!”
Freddie sat next to her on the couch, rubbing her back, waiting the fit out, powerless to help her.
- Dramatic
”Heyehhshoo.” Tim sneezed loudly, walking into Alex’s office. “ehhshoo.”
Alex looked up from the stack of jokes on his desk. “Bless you.”
“I have a cold.” Tim informed him, coughing. “It’s the worst cold him the history of ever.”
Alex nodded. “It would seem so.”
“Hayyahhshoo! Aahhshoo!” I’m going to sneeze to death.” He warned.
“Bless you again.” Alex slid the box of Kleenex on his desk over to Tim. “And somehow, I doubt that.”
- Fight
Alex wriggled his nose, trying to get the itch to come to fruition. He’d been trying to sneeze for the last 5 minutes. Despite a tickle in his nose that made him cough and his eyes water, he couldn’t release it.
“Heehhh….hehhhh…huhhhh.uhhhh…”. And it backed off again.
He sighed, thinking of dusty rooms filled with cats and lavender scented air freshener.
“Huhhh….uhhhh…uhhhh…UHHH..”
He gave a few strong sniffles, hoping that maybe there was something in the air to send the tickle over the edge. And waited.
He flipped his wrist over to check his watch and the sunlight hit it, the glare making him squint.
“HUHHUHHSHHOOO!!” The sneeze roared out of him and bent him double. “HUHH-UHSHooooo, uhshoo, uhshoo, huhshoo,huhuhshoo….uhhhhhhh-shooooo!” He slowly sat up, dizzy, and sniffled.
That took forever, but wow, that felt good to get out.
- Snore
Jamie didn’t sleep well. Freddie was coming down with a cold. He hadn’t said anything about not feeling well, but he had snored all night long. He only did that if he was sick.
Yawning, she got up to jump in the shower. 15 minutes later, she came back into the bedroom to see Freddie sitting up. “Hey, how’d you sleep?”
“Like the dead.” He commented, and she noticed a bit of congestion in his voice.
“I don’t think you woke up once.” She told him, yawning.
“How would you know?” He teased and then sneezed. “Huhh-Chushhh. Excuse me.”
“You were snoring all night.”
He sniffled. “That explains it.” At her look, “headache, runny nose, and I sneezed at least half a dozen times while you were in the shower.”
“It is that time of year.” She reminded him.
- Blush
”Ihhhshoo.” Alyssa sneezed softly, quickly followed by a second “ihhshoo.” And a third “ihhshoo.” Louder this time. She brushed at her nose with the back of her hand and reached for her purse, knowing full well there was nothing in there she could blow her nose with. “Hiitschoo. Sorry.” She apologized. “I don’t know wha…ahh-schoo!”
She took the tissue Jamie handed her and blew her nose.
“Hiitschoo. Hiiihschoo. Ihhschooo.” She blew her nose again as Jamie passed her the pack of Kleenex. “I never sneeze like this.” She felt her face grow hot.
Jamie nodded. “Someone has some strong perfume on. You might be allergic to it.” She paused as Alyssa sneezed again. “You wanna go?”
“Hiiihtchishh, iihhchishh…hhchihhh.” Alyssa nodded as Jamie flagged down the waiter for the check and take home boxes.
- Health
Despite her allergies and asthma, Jamie was actually relatively healthy. Aside from her frequent sneezing and itchy eyes, everything was controlled with two pills and a rescue inhaler she rarely used.
So when she caught a cold at the beginning of March, it was bad. And everyone was surprised. She had spent the entire cold and flu season taking care of them when they got sick and never sniffled – well, not more than usual.
But Tuesday morning, she woke up coughing like her lungs were trying to escape and her sneezing intensified. “Ihhtschoo! Ihhschoo! Hihh…hihhschoo, Huhh..uhh..huhhihschoo. Ihhschoo.” She blew her nose as Freddie came into the bedroom.
“Bless you.”
“Thagk you.” She took the juice he offered and swallowed gingerly.
“Hungry?” She shook her head. “For anything?”
“Baybe ice creab. Huhhh…huhhtschoo.” She began coughing again.
“Do you need your inhaler?”
She shook her head. “Already used id ad hour ago.”
“Can I do anything for you?”
She coughed again and blew her nose. “Ub, I deed bore kleedix. Ad water. Ad cad you just sid with be for a liddle bit?”
He nodded. “I’ll be right back.” He shook his head, leaving the room. When she got sick, she got sick.
- Breeze
They sat on the back patio of the condo. It had rained, bringing down the pollen count to Jamie’s relief. She liked to be outside, but it was so rare she could do it without sneezing constantly or freezing.
They chatted about their day – well more Freddie’s day which was much more interesting than hers.
A strong breeze blew from the west, bringing with it the scent of the neighbor’s flowers…and pollen. “Hiiihiitschoo.” Jamie sneezed.
“Do you want to go back in?”
She shook her head, “let’s wait.” She told him, taking his hand.
- Helping Hand (follows responsibility)
Alex set breakfast on the table and looked at his daughter. “What did you want to do today?” He asked, punctuating it with a sniffle.
“Can we go to the zoo?” She asked. “I wanna see the monkeys.”
The zoo. He sighed. He was hoping she’d say watch movies all day. He wouldn’t even care if she made him watch all of his movies again. “Sure.” He managed, turning and stifling a sneeze into his shoulder. “Hihh-chhh.”
“You sneeze a lot, dad.”
“Because dad has a cold.” He told her. He started steeling himself for the zoo. They only had a week together every couple months, so it was all about what she wanted to do. He started eating his pancakes, hoping a good breakfast would get him started.
His phone rang and he answered for Jamie, ducking out of the room.
“How’s it going?” She asked.
“She…” he trailed off. “Heh-chuhh, Huhh-chuhh. We’re going to the zoo.” He sighed.
“Fun.” Jamie sounded genuinely excited for him.
“With a migraine and a head cold.”
“Less fun.”
“I wish Lyss was here. “
She paused. “Want a stand in?”
“You?”
“Sure! I love the zoo, and you could use a hand with the kid.”
- Rain
He was cold. Cold and wet. Cold and wet, and his nose was running. Cold, wet, his nose was running and he had no tissues.
He still had 4 more blocks to go before he got to the hotel.
Oh, and he had no umbrella.
He swiped at his nose with his sleeve, not that that did any good.
Why did he decide to walk to the studio for the talk show taping? Oh yeah, it was cool and sunny when he left. But the New York sky had decided to open up on him.
3 more blocks.
“Hehh-chuhh.” He buried a sneeze into his sleeve.
2 more blocks. He walked faster. He could see the hotel as he got closer. His thoughts filled with hot coffee, a hot shower and dry clothes.
1 more block – well, technically, half a block. “Ehh-chuhh.” His sleeve was cold and wet and made him shiver.
He opened the door to the hotel lobby and slipped onto the elevator. Soon, he’d be warm and dry.
- Turning Point
Freddie had done nothing for the past two days but sleep, so when he made his way downstairs on Monday morning, Jamie was pleasantly surprised. “Morning. Coffee?”
He shook his head, pulling the orange juice out of the refrigerator. “Do.” He sniffled. “Just this.”
He sat down with his glass. “Huhhchishh, uhhchishh, huhhchisshuhh.” He sneezed wetly.
She got up and handed him a paper towel. “Bless you. Feeling any better?”
He nodded. “It doesd’t hurd by head whed I sdeeze adybore.” He gave his nose another gurgly blow, and she handed him another paper towel. “Thagks.”
“Hungry?”
He shrugged. “Baybe. Oatbeal bight be dice.”
She could still barely understand him, but he was awake and eating, so maybe he had reached the turning point.
- Groceries
Tim set the grocery bags on the counter and began unloading it. 2 gallons of orange juice which he stuck in the fridge.
“Hayehhshoo….Hehhshoo.” He wiped his nose on his sleeve.
Can after can of chicken noodle soup. 12 in total. He shoved them to the back of the counter.
Daytime cold medicine. Nighttime cold medicine. Cough drops. Chapstick.
“Huhhyuhhshoo, uhshoo.” Sniffling, he continued.
Popsicles to the freezer. Bananas on the counter. Tea – counter. Sprite, also to the counter.
Oatmeal to the cupboard. Milk in the fridge. “Hehh…Hehhshoo…iiieehshoo.”
Sniffling again, he suddenly realized. He forgot to buy Kleenex.
- Tissues (follows helping hand)
His favorite thing about Jamie, at least today, was that she always had tissues. And not just a travel pack of Kleenex or two, but a sandwich bag filled with tissues.
They’d been at the zoo 5 minutes when he’d sneezed a wet, messy double and realized he’d forgotten to grab tissues before leaving the house. Hearing him trying to sniffle back his runny nose, she’d handed him a few tissues from her oversized purse, then handed him more to stock his pockets with.
He looked at the plastic bag she had pulled out. “That’s a lot of Kleenex.” He sniffled.
“You’ve seen me. Ihhtschoo.” It was her turn to sneeze. “Trust me, I can go through one of those travel packs in 5 minutes.”
He believed it. He’d seen her on a bad day. “Ehhchuhh. Huhhchuhh.” He winced as his head throbbed. “Just glad one of us is prepared.”
- Endless Night
”Ihhtshh.” Jamie tried to sneeze as quietly as possible. She’d been sneezing at regular intervals for the last hour, and the itch in her nose showed no sign of abating.
She closed her eyes and prayed for sleep. “Hittschh.” She sighed and wiped at her nose, looking at the clock. 1:15 am. The sneezing had started around midnight.
“Ihhhtschoo.” She heard Freddie stir next to him and hoped she didn’t wake him. She tried to blow her nose as softly as possible.
“Ihhtschoo.” The sneezes were getting stronger and more frequent. Sighing, she slipped out of bed and headed downstairs to the couch. It was going to be an endless night for her, apparently. The least she could do was let Freddie sleep.
- Pills
Alex scrounged through the drawer in his desk, pulling out pens and paper clips. “ehh–chuhh.” He paused to sneeze to the side. “”Heehhtchuhh, ehhchushh.” Grabbing a tissue from the box on his desk, he blew his nose.
He’d overslept that morning and had his allergies kick up. He’d run straight out the door without grabbing an allergy pill, but he knew he had some in his office somewhere.
“Huhh-chuhhh.” Rehearsal was in an hour and a half. Taping in 3. He had to quit sneezing by then.
He succeeded in pulling the drawer completely out and saw the bottle of Claritin in the back. He swallowed one, then stared at the drawer. Now to figure out how to get the drawer back in.
- Cuddle
Alex woke up cold. Alyssa was curled up in a ball on her side of the bed, blankets wrapped tightly around her.
She woke up, looked at him blearily and sneezed. “Huhh-ihhshoo. What are you doing?”
“I was missing the covers.” He explained.
She still had them firmly wrapped around her. “I’m cold. Ahhshoo, hahh-ahhshoo.” She extracted her arm from her cocoon to grab a tissue and blow her nose.
He sighed. “Lyss…”
“I’m still cold.”
He slid over on the bed until he was right next to her, working the blankets free. “Get comfortable.” He told her, then wrapped his arms around her, blankets over both of them. “Warmer?”
“Getting there.”
- Nosebleed
“Heyehhshoo. Ehhshooo. Ehhshoo. Heeyyahhshoo.” Tim sniffled thickly, blowing his nose.
“Hehhshoo, heyehshoo, Heyehhshoo, ehhhshoo.” He didn’t usually get fits like this.
He grabbed new tissues and held them to his nose. “Heyehhshoo, ehhh…Hehhshoo.” Pulling the tissue away, he noticed it was speckled with blood. “Great,” he muttered, reaching for a handful of tissues, pinching his nose shut, sneezing done for now.
- Fragrant
Alex came into the kitchen to the smell of lavender and burnt meat. Alyssa has the windows open and was spraying air freshener in the room. He saw the burnt roast sitting in the sink.
She saw him and turned. “I forgot the timer.” She explained, trying to rid the air of the burned odor with her spray can.
“I can see that.” He said, rubbing his nose; a faint tickle had begun to well up at the base of it.
“I’m sorry. I was making dinner. I thought I had the timer set….I fell asleep.” She kept spraying the room.
The itch intensified, and he identified the scent. “Can you stop that?” He asked, sniffling, grabbing the can from her. “Hehhh-chuhh.” He rubbed his nose on his sleeve. “Ehhhchuhh, uhchuhh.” He paused, keeping his arm up, “huhhhh–chuhhh.”
“Bless you. Are you ok?”
He nodded, grabbing a paper towel and scrubbing at his nose. “Lavender air fresheners set me off pretty….uhhh-huhhchoo…pretty good.” He set the can on the counter, noticing various other air fresheners sitting there. He shot her a quizzical look before doubling over with another sneeze.
“Freddie. He keeps thinking they can use them, but…”
“I don’t know why he just doesn’t let Jamie use her essential oils. They work for her. The lavender….hehhh-chuhhh….makes me sneeze, most of these give me headaches,” he told her looking through the bag. He handed her the two tropical sprays. “These can go in the bathroom, I guess. Huh-ihhhchhh. I’ll give the rest to Tim.” He blew his nose and crumpled the paper towel into the trash as she followed him out of the room. “What do you want to order for dinner?”
- Home alone
Tim stretched out on the unfamiliar bed. He’d come home to visit his mother, who had gone to visit her sister. He would have gone, but a nasty cold kept him home; sharing is not always caring, his mother had reminded him.
“Heyehhshoo, hehhehshoo, ehshooo, ehhshoo! Heyehhsho! Ehhshoo!” He sneezed wetly into the crook of his arm, grabbing a tissue from the box next to him. This fittish sneezing was getting annoying. He coughed roughly and took a long drink of water.
His mother had called; because of the weather, she wasn’t coming home from Milwaukee tonight.
Tim listened to the pipes groan and creak. He was used to being home alone, sure, just not in this house.
- Snowstorm.
“Hayahshoo. Ahhshoo!” Tim sneezed, pulling the last tissue from the box. “Yahhsho! haayahhshoo!” He blew his nose and went off in search of more.
Finding none, he snagged a roll of toilet paper from the bathroom and went to take the NyQuil. The last of the NyQuil. He noticed there was only one packet of DayQuil there too.
Sighing, he looked out the window. The snow was falling heavily, and the city had put out an order not to drive unless necessary. Not that that mattered…after all this time in California, he wasn’t sure if he could drive in this weather anymore.
Blowing his nose again on the toilet paper, he curled up on the bed, hoping to sleep through the night.
- By my Side
Freddie lay snoring on the other side of the bed. He had been sleeping as far away as possible from her while still remaining in the same room since he’d gotten this cold. He coughed deeply in his sleep, waking himself.
“Huhhchishh.” He sneezed, opening bleary eyes and reaching for the tissues. “Uhhchisshuhh.”
“Bless you.” Jamie said softly from the other side of the bed.
“Why are you still awake?”
“It’s 11 pm. And you’re snoring.”
“Sorry.” He gestured to his head. “Stuffed up.” He explained, needlessly.
“I know. Go back to sleep.”
He laid back down, closing his eyes. She noticed, despite the blanket and 70 degree heat, he was shivering. She slid over next to him, lying at his side, arms around him.
“Don’t want you to get sick,” he whispered.
“Don’t care.” She whispered back.
Aggedy Ann 