- Hands
”Ehhhchuhh.” Alex sneezed, cupping his hands over his face. “Huhchuh, uhchuhh, hehhchuhh.” He paused, knowing more were coming. “Hehhchahhh, ehhhtchuhh, heyyehchuhh.”
He got up, grabbed a paper towel, blew his nose, then washed his hands in the kitchen sink.
He turned to see his daughter giving him a stern look. “Dad,” she admonished him, “you’re supposed to sneeze into your sleeve.”
- Caring
She had called Tim prior to coming over to see what he needed, and Alex had given her the spare key, just in case Tim was asleep when she got there, but Alyssa was unprepared for how sick he was.
He was asleep on the couch when she let herself in, snoring loudly through congested sinuses, pale, with a glean of sweat across his forehead. Crumpled tissues overflowed a grocery bag and littered the floor around him. She set her bags in the kitchen and went to wake him.
He awake slowly, turning away from her and coughing harshly. He sat up and reached for his water before noticing the glass was empty.
“I’ll get some more.” She picked up his glass. “Need cold medicine?”
He nodded, pressing his hand to the back of his nose. She ducked into the kitchen, hearing his muffled sneezes from the living room, returning with orange juice, water, cold medicine and a thermometer. “I want to get your temperature first. You feel really warm.” She handed over the thermometer. “100.6.” She reported, handing him the cold medicine and juice. “This should help with everything.”
He took the pills, and wrapped the blanket around him. “Thangks Alyssa…ehhhshuhh, heyyehhshuhh.” He blew his nose again.
“Bless you. You get some rest and let the medicine kick in. I’ll make you some soup while you do.”
- Awkward
Dates made her nervous. She was shy around new people, and she hated having to explain all the restrictions of her allergies before really getting to know someone. At least, Alex had set this up, so hopefully Freddie would be prepared.
She met him at the restaurant, noting with dismay, it was an out door café. She checked her purse, making sure her stash of tissues was in there, then approached the man resembling the picture Alex had shown her. “Freddie?” She asked, rubbing her nose.
He nodded. “Yes. Jamie?”
She opened her mouth to respond but instead ended up turning away from him to sneeze. “Ihhhtschoo, ihhtschoo.” She turned back to him. “Yes. Sorry. Excuse me.” She could feel herself blushing.
He smiled. “Bless you. I thought this place would be fun. The patio is nice, and the seafood is fantastic.”
“Oh, um…” she tried to hide her disappointment. Alex hadn’t told him much, apparently. “I’m allergic to fish and shellfish. I mean, I’m sure there’s something on the menu I can eat. But, um, I don’t know what Alex told you, but um, sitting outside and me aren’t really compatible. It looks great, but I, uh, have bad allergies…this is the time of year they’re the worst…” she trailed off. “Hiitschoo!” She punctuated her explanation with a sneeze and turned away from Freddie to blow her nose.
“Bless you. I don’t think there’s anything but salad on the menu for you. Alex said you had allergies so no flowers and no cologne; I guess I didn’t carry that over to sitting outside. If you feel like walking a bit, there’s another place about 4 blocks away…indoors and more choices for food…”
“If you don’t mind…if we stay here, you’ll spend the night listening to me sneeze.
“I think I’d rather get to know you.” He smiled.
- Voice
Alex slipped into the studio and straight to his office, avoiding the writers area until he absolutely couldn’t any longer. He took a sip of the tea he brought with him and sighed.
Half an hour after he’d been there, Freddie and Tim, noticing that he hadn’t been in to check in yet, checked in on him. He was coughing when they knocked on his door, but he looked up and motioned them in.
They stood, waiting for him to finish and take a long sip of his tea. “Haven’t seen you yet today, boss,” Tim commented.
“Wanted to get to work.” Alex’s voice was hoarse with notes of congestion. He fumbled quickly for a tissue. “Heyyehhchuhh.”
“Wanted to save your voice.” Freddie surmised. “I thought your cold was getting better.”
“That too. And it was. Then it moved to my chest and got worse again. I’m trying not to talk so it gets better so I don’t sound like this on the air.”
“Cold medicine helping?” Tim asked.
“Didn’t take any. Not really stuffed up.”
“Helps with the cough. I have some in my desk.”
“I have cough drops.” Freddie offered.
“Salt water gargles.”
“We’ll bring you more tea.”
“And remember, talk normally, don’t whisper.” They said in unison, leaving to fetch things for Alex.
- Compromise
Freddie had taken Tim out for a birthday dinner. Tim had seemed a little annoyed that no one else could join in, but Jamie had to “work late,” Freddie told him. Alex had begged off, having to “attend a faculty benefit” with Alyssa.
In reality, the three of them were at Tim’s apartment, stashing ice cream in the freezer, decorating and putting candles on a chocolate cake.
Freddie had texted when they were about 5 minutes away. They had all hid in the kitchen and turned off the lights. After a few minutes, the heard voices in the hall and a key in the lock. Alex looked over at Jamie and jokingly told her, “don’t sneeze,” as he knelt down to tie his shoe.
She glared at him as unbeknownst to everyone, Cashew walked into the kitchen. He walked over to Alex and rubbed up against him, brushing his tail against Alex’s cheek.
“Huhh…huhhhh.” He quickly pressed his hand against his nose. Freddie and Tim were talking in the living room.
Cashew jumped up on his bent knee, placing his paws on his chest.
“HUHHHH-CHUUUHHH.” The proximity of the cat was too much.
He heard Tim swear and the kitchen light was switched on.
“Happy Birthday!” Alyssa and Jamie called out as Alex sneezed again.
“Huhh-CHUHH!” Alex sniffled. “Yeah, happy birthday.”
- Hush
Freddie came home to find Jamie lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling. She sat up when he came in and gave him a tiny attempt at a smile.
“Hey baby.” He bent down and kissed her. “How are you feeling? You still feel pretty warm.” He commented.
Her response was to burst into tears.
“Hey, hey, hey,” he said, gently, sitting next to her and reaching for her. “What’s wrong?” She pulled back, turning away from him. “Jamie?”
“Ihtschoo! Ihtschoo!………Hiitschoo…Huhh…huhhh…hhuhhihhtschooo!” She turned back to him, wiping her nose, still crying.
He pulled her into his arms, stroking her hair. “Hush, sweetie, tell me what’s wrong?”
“I just feel so awful.” She sobbed, sniffling and burying his head in his shoulder.
- I’m here (follows hush)
He held here and let her sob. He’d never seen her like this. Her allergies never got to her. Even when she was sick, it never seemed to bother her. He brushed her hair back and was, again, taken aback by how warm she was.
She pulled away from him and sneezed again. This time she was visible to him, and she saw her wince after.
“Bless you.” He handed her a tissue. “Is your throat sore?”
“”Hihhtschoo. Yeah.”
“And you’ve probably still got a fever. I think it’s time to go to the walk-in.”
She shook her head. “Don’t want to.” She started crying again.
He put his arms around here. “Hey, it’s ok. I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere tonight.”
- Bubbles
Alyssa poured the eucalyptus bubble bath into the tub and watched the bubbles rise as the water ran. She slipped into the warm water, feeling it instantly relax her. It took about 10 minutes before she could feel the eucalyptus work on her congested sinuses. She sniffed and sniffled until the sneezing started. “Hahh-Ishoo, ishoo, huhihhshoo!”
Her nose running freely now, she got out of the tub and into a pair of sweats and one of Alex’s sweatshirts. She stood at the sink and blew her nose over a dozen times before slipping into the bedroom, head finally clearer.
- Bed (Follows bubbles)
She sank down on the bed, wrapping the blankets around her, box of Kleenex at her side. Her nose was still running from the bath. She blew her nose again and tossed the tissue into the nearly full trash can.
She closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep, but her attempt was interrupted by a sudden flurry of sneezes. “Ihhschoo, Hiihschoo, Ihhschoo, huhhihhschoo, uhhihhschoo!” She buried her face in the pillow until the fit abated.
She sat up to blow her nose, then lay back down. Stretching out her tired, sore body, she tried to sleep once again.
- Delivery
She had just hit send on the text to Tim – ‘Can’t stop sneezing this morning. Skipping church today’ when she got one from him. ‘ have a bad cold, coughing nonstop. No church for me today.’
Jamie texted him ‘feel better. Need anything?’ And laughed when the text he sent her at the same time simply said ‘bless you’
He texted back a few seconds later a second response – sleep.
She headed into the kitchen, deciding to surprise him later with some soup.
Freddie woke up a few hours later and wandered down to the kitchen for breakfast, wondering why he smelled chicken soup.
Jamie sat at the table with her orange juice. “No Mass?” He asked.
“Been up sneezing since 5.” She sniffled. “And Tim cancelled with….hihhtschoo! Ihhschoo! He has a bad cold. Hiiihhhtschoooo!”
“Bless you.”
“I tried sleeping on the couch, but…” she gestured to her nose, reaching for a tissue.
He noticed the pile in the garbage next to her and frowned. “Getting sick?”
“Just aller- ehhrtschoo….Allergies.”
“And the soup?”
“I thought I’d take it over to Tim.”
Freddie shook his head. “Not the way you’re sneezing.”
“You could drive me.” She blew her nose again. “I think it’s hard on him when he’s really sick…be…beihh…ihhhtschoo, tschoo! Being alone.”
He nodded. “Ok. You coordinate a time. See what he needs. We’ll go over.”
Jamie texted Tim an hour later to find out he needed cough drops. She and Freddie picked him up a few bags and continued to his apartment. Jamie picked up her bag and carried up to his apartment, thankful for the empty elevator where no one witnessed her sneezing fit.
She walked down the hall and knocked on his door. He answered, coughing, and let her in. “I..hold on…ihhtschoo, ihhtshoo. I can’t stay long; Freddie’s in the car.” She followed him into the kitchen as he blessed her. She set the soup on the counter and handed him the cough drops. “That doesn’t sound good.” She commented, listening to him cough, quickly handing him the cough drops before sneezing 4 times.
“It doesn’t feel good.” He confirmed. “And you really can’t quit sneezing today.”
She shook her head. “I’ll let you rest.”
“Thanks for the delivery.”
- Green
Alyssa watched as Alex walked out of the bathroom and back towards the bed. He paused halfway across the room, placing a hand on the dresser for support. “Huhhchhh, uhhcchhtt, huhhuhhchhxxtt.” He sneezed, holding on to the dresser for a few seconds before continuing to the bed.
She noticed he sat down slowly and stifled another sneeze. Unusual for him, especially around her.
“Bless you. You ok, babe?”
“Migraine.” He said softly. “And allergies chose today to pick up. Hhhcchhh. Ughhh.” He moved the trash can closer.
He did look a little green, she noticed. “Need a Zyrtec?” She offered
“Waiting for that and the excedrin to kick in.” He sniffled, laying back down. “HehhhChhxnxt.”
“Bless you.” She tried to slide off the bed without disturbing him and pulled down the shades. “I’ll let you rest.”
- Blue
Alex and Tim walked along the trail. It was a sunny, summer day with a slight breeze. They had been hiking for about 45 minutes and were halfway to the top of the trail.
Tim noticed his nose was stuffy and his eyes were starting to itch. He had no idea why. He and Alex had hiked this trail before, and usually, in the spring and fall, Alex was the one sniffling. Tim had no allergy issues, not really. He was puzzling this out when he stopped to sneeze suddenly. “Heyehhshoo, hehhshoo.” Shaking his head, he caught up with Alex.
“Bless you, man.”
Tim held up his hand. “Heyyehhshoo, ehhshooo…ehhhshoo, heyyahhshoo!” Four powerful sneezes rocked his body. He straightened up and sniffled. “Got a tissue?”
Alex pulled a pack out of his pocket and tossed it to him. “You ok?”
“Nose ihhh…ihh-ihhhschooo, Ihhschoo…itches.” He tried to blow the tickle out.
Alex took a look at Tim and noticed his blue eyes were watery as Tim reached up to rub them. “Bless you. I think you’re allergic to something out here. Let’s go back to the car.”
Tim blew his nose again. “I’m not going to argue with that plan.”
- Pink
Jamie and Freddie were having dinner with Tim, and Cashew would not leave Freddie alone. Tim had tried putting him in the bedroom, but tonight he had yowled and yowled until Freddie said to just let him out.
Freddie’s sneezing had picked up during the course of the meal. Now they were sitting at the table talking, Freddie practically one with the Kleenex box.
“Huhhchishh” he sneezed into a crumpled tissue. “huhhchiisshahh. What did you say, Tim?”
“I asked if you were opening for Alex next month.”
Freddie nodded, wiping his nose. “Yeah. I’m going down to Arizona with him. Jamie’s staying…hhhurrchishh…she’s staying here.” He pushed the cat away from his legs.
Jamie noticed how Freddie’s sneezes were worsening in intensity from his normal, quiet Huhh-chushh, and took a look at his pink rimmed eyes and pink nose.
“Tim, I think we should go.” She said, nodding her head towards Freddie who sneezed again. “Dinner was lovely; I’ll see you in the morning for church?”
“We cand stay,” Freddie protested. “I’mb not…sec…ehh–chushh, chushhh, chushh, chuhhhshoo, huhhchushhh, uhhhchuschh, Huhh-uhhhchushhoo!”
“Bless you.” Tim told him. “I’m with Jamie. You’ve had enough cat for one night.”
- Illness
Alex lay on the floor in the living room while Alyssa and Jamie came in. “Hey,” he sniffled, not getting up from his blanket cocoon. “How was your trip home?” He asked Jamie before pulling the blankets up to cover his mouth and nose. “Hehhhh-CHuhh, ehhhCHUHH, Chuhhh.” He shook his head and blew his nose.
“Still got that cold?” Jamie asked. “That’s going on, what, 3 weeks now?”
Alyssa nodded. “I’ve caught it and gotten over it while he’s been sick. I told him he should see a doctor.”
“I don’t need a doctor. It’s just a cold.” Alex protested, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
- Puppies
She normally ordered the dog food online but had forgotten in time. And forgotten to ask Freddie to run to the pet store before he left on the road with Alex and Alyssa. Which found her outside the pet store in Tim’s car, convincing herself that Pace couldn’t live on chicken and steak for four days.
She grabbed a handful of Kleenex from the box on her lap cramming them in one pocket, debit card in the other.
“Jamie – “ Tim started, but she was already on her way in the building.
It was adoption day; specifically dog adoption day, and there was at least 10 dogs waiting to be adopted in addition to the half dozen that had come with their owners. Jamie walked past the dogs, past the guinea pigs, hamsters and rabbits, feeling the urge to sneeze become overwhelming, yet knowing if she gave in, she wouldn’t be able to stop.
Pressing her hand to her nose, she made it to the back and grabbed Pace’s food. “Hiiiiihtschooo!” A breathy sneeze snuck out and she cursed, walking quickly to the front of the store, dog for under one arm, tissues in the other hand. She sneezed twice more on the way to the register, managed to pay without sneezing and fled the store.
Tim had been watching and had the back door of the car open for her to toss the food in. She climbed in the front seat, pressed her tissues to her nose and let the sneezes come. “Ihhhtschoo, ihhhtshoo, hahhihtschoo!” Tim watched as her head bobbed forward with each strong sneeze. She caught his worried glance. “I’m ogay.” She managed breathlessly, blowing her nose as the sneezing began to slow down. “I’m okay.”
“5 minutes with dogs set you off that bad?”
She shook her head. “Not just the dogs. Rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, hay, cedar chips. Ughh…haahtschoo, ahhhtschoo, haahhiitschhoo.”
“Jamie.” He said, seriously. “I would have gone in there for you.”
- Kittens
Tim and Alex walked into the pet store, noticing instantly the array of cat carriers signaling cat adoption day. “You gonna be ok with this?” Tim asked, “there’s like 20 cats over there.”
He swore he saw Alex’s nose twitch with that, but Alex swore he’d be fine.
Alex was fine for 5 minutes. “Hehhh-CHUH!” He doubled over with a powerful sneeze in the kitty litter aisle. “EhhChuhh.”
“Bless you.” Tim eyed him warily. “Sure you’re ok?”
Alex opened his mouth to reassure him. “EhhhChuhh, heeyEHHChuhh.” Was the response that came out.
Tim fished his keys out of his pocket. “I’ll take that as no, Tim; I’d like to go sit in the car.” He said placing the keys in Alex’s hands. Alex turned and headed out; Tim shaking his head as he heard him sneeze three more times on the way to the exit.
- Baffle
“Huhh-chushhh.”
He shook his head and blew his nose. That was his fourth sneeze in less than 2 minutes.
Another sneeze built and his head dipped forward. “Huhhhchishhh. Uhhhchushhh.”
He didn’t usually sneeze like this, and the cause always seemed to elude him. He wasn’t sick; it wasn’t allergies. “Hehchushh.” Another sneeze shook him, and he tried blowing his nose to quell the fit again.
It just served to irritate the tickle. “Ehhhchushhh. Chusshooo.” And then, the itch was gone.
These fits simply baffled him
- Daffodil
”Hiitschoo.”
Freddie heard Jamie sneeze as he entered the condo and followed the sound to the kitchen, where she stood at the counter, flipping chicken in the marinade. “Hiitschoo!” She sneezed again.
“Bless you.” He said from behind her. “Rough allergy day?”
She nodded, putting the chicken back in the fridge and blowing her nose. “Just a little. How was your day?”
“They gave us all flowers to celebrate 100 episodes.” He said.
“Please tell me you left them at work.” She sniffed, noticing he had a hand behind his back. “Please tell me that.” She blew her nose again and rubbed her eyes.
“Alex has your back.” Freddie laughed, setting the bouquet of silk and plastic flowers on the table.
She laughed. “Do we have a vase?”
- Harsh
”Hhaahhrahhshoo, ahhrshoo.” The force of the sneezes doubled Tim over. Alex looked at him, somewhat concerned as Tim sneezed again. “Haaayaahhshooo, AHHSHOO!”
This cold was knocking Tim on his butt. He had an unrelenting cough, and his sneezes were rougher, harsher, louder, more fittish than they normal were.
“Bless you, man.” He said as Tim straightened up and pressed another tissue to his red, chapped nose. “Those were, um,”
“Indtendse.” Tim finished.
- Grumble (follows illness)
”You’ve been getting worse.” Alyssa reminded him. She looked at Jamie. “He’s sneezing more; it sounds weird, but his sneeze has changed – it’s harsher, deeper, stronger. He’s running a fever half the time…”
“HeyAhhChoo, HahhChoo, CHOO!” Alex cut her off. They noticed him rub his head, the bridge of his nose, and finally his jaw. “What?” He asked, when he saw them looking. “My face hurts.” He complained.
“Your face?” Jamie asked? “Like a bad headache?”
“No.” He grumbled. “Face. Headache, around my eyes, top of my nose, cheekbones, even my teeth.” He paused. “Huhh….EhhtChoo. Especially when I sneeze.” He blew his nose loudly. “Or blow my nose.”
“I still think you need a doctor.” Alyssa told him. “What if this is a sinus infection of something?”
Alex mumbled something under his breath, but picked up his phone and called his doctor.
- Mold
Freddie filled the ice molds at the sink, preparing for the party they were having tonight.
“Huhhchushh.” He sneeezed, spilling the ice mold into the sink. He righted the tray and continued filling it with water.
He turned and carried it to the freezer. “Huhhchushh!” He was about to open the freezer door when another sneeze shook him, sloshing water on his socks and the floor.
He went back, set the tray in the sink, took a paper towel to blow his nose and several more to mop the floor. He hoped he wasn’t catching a cold.
- State
Jamie was from Minnesota and Tim from Wisconsin. They occasionally traveled home together. Tim had been with her in all seasons in both states and California.
This particular trip took place in April, when spring had taken over for winter. Tom’s brother, Ken picked them up in Minneapolis. They had been waiting about 10 minutes in the pick up zone when he pulled up; Tim loaded their bags into the SUV, and they waited to pull out into traffic.
“Hittschoo.” Jamie sneezed. She pulled tissues out of her purse and continued sneezing. “Hiitschoo. Ihhhtschoo…huhhiihtschoo…hittschhuhh….Hiitschoo…hitschh…tschhhoo….huhhh ….huhhhittschooo….huhhh…huhhhtschhoo.”
She noticed the concerned look Ken gave her. “Bless you. You ok?” He asked.
She nodded, blowing her nose again and tossing the crumpled tissue in her purse. “Allergies. I see no one warned you.”
Tim nodded. “She’s gonna sneeze her head off, no matter what state she’s in.”
- Quilt
Tim had a faded blue patchwork quilt he always pulled out at times like these. Time when he was lonely, down or like now, sick. His mother had made it for his brother, Steve when Steve was little, and when Steve had died, Tim had claimed it.
It reminded him of his brother, reminded him of home, of being taken care of.
“Heyehhshoo, eyyshoo.” He sneezed roughly into a tissue, scrubbing his nose.
He pulled the quilt tighter around him and curled up in a ball on the couch, hoping for sleep.
- Quarantine
Tim looked over at his two sick friends sitting in his apartment and sneezed. Freddie had called first; Jamie wanted to send over soup – could he drop it off? Then Alex was going to the store for more Kleenex and cold medicine; did he need anything?
It’s not that he minded his friends’ presence; it’s just, he was the latest to catch this cold, and it was at the worst. Playing host wasn’t number on on his to do list.
‘You guys don’t have to stay with me.” He told them. “It’s just a cold. I’m ok, really.”
Alex looked away and didn’t meet his eyes. “I, uh, think Lyss wants me out of the house for awhile. Hihh-chuhh.”
“Bless you.” Said Freddie. “Yeah, um, Jamie, too.” He coughed.
“Great. So you’ve been quarantined here.” Tim grumbled.
- Attack
Freddie sat on Tim’s couch, eyeing the cat warily. She was already pouncing on his shoelaces. He rubbed fiercely at his nose and sniffled.
A few minutes later the cat was clawing at his pant legs. “Huh-chushh.” He sneezed. “Hehh-chushhh.”
“Bless you,” Tim called from the kitchen where he was finishing washing the dishes.
Freddie noticed the strings to his hoodie swinging back and forth post sneeze, and noticed Cashew notice too. “Oh no.” He told the cat. “No you…huh-chushoo…don’t.”
The cat sprang up onto his chest to attack the strings, tail waving in his face. “Huhh-chushhh. Ehhh-chushhh…heehhtchushh, heychushooo, eyyyuhhshoo, chushooo.” He pushed the cat down and recovered himself. “Tim, your cat is attacking me.” He called.
Aggedy Ann 