- Germs
He was doing everything he could to prevent Jamie from catching his cold. Hand washing after hand washing, hand sanitizer in between. Trying to cover in tissues whenever possible, his elbow when he lacked the forewarning. And basically, just keeping his distance.
At night was harder. She was so much closer to him at night. So he worked at staying on his side of the bed, lest he contaminate her side. Tissues were on his side of the bed for once, trash can right below. Hand sanitizer on the night stand. And he slept facing away from her, instead of with her snuggled into his side. She might still sleep pressed against his back, but this way he didn’t risk waking up, unable to cover a sneeze and get her.
“HuhhChushh, UhChushh, Chushoo.” Freddie sat on the side of the bed, sneezing. He coughed lightly as he blew his nose.
“Bless you.” He felt Jamie’s hand rubbing his back. “That cold just won’t loosen its grip on you, will it?”
He shook his head. He’d been sick for 5 days with no sign of it lightening up. “Doesn’t seem like it.” He sighed, rubbing hand sanitizer on his hands.
- Contagious (see germ)
Freddie woke when he felt Jamie, who had been curled into the small of his back, stiffen and pull away. A forceful, yet feminine “hihhtschuhh” quickly followed. A small groan escaped her, followed by two more sneezes. “Ihhhtschoo, ihhtschuhh.”
“Bless you.” He mumbled, sitting up. She was sitting, fumbling for the tissues. “Those weren’t allergies.” A statement, not a question.
She shook her head and blew her nose loudly. “Despite all attempts not to, I think I’ve caught your cold.” She flopped back down on the bed.
He sighed and laid back next to her. “Sorry, baby.”
- Tissues (see calculating)
He had just blown his nose on his last tissue until Alyssa got home. Sniffling wetly, he felt another sneeze brewing and began calculating his options. Paper towel or toilet paper.
He stood up, trying to weigh the pros and cons of each. “Esschuschh!” The first sneeze snapped out from him, followed quickly by two more similar sounding, but much wetter sneezes.
He rubbed his hand on his jeans and sniffled thickly. Paper towels won out. But only because the kitchen was closer.
- Sore
“HehChuh!” Alex’s torso snapped forward with an intense sneeze, and he winced. He had a cold…which was primarily harsh rough coughing, and recent rains had sent his allergies into overdrive, resulting in prolonged bouts of sneezing. To top, it off he had pulled an abdominal muscle at the gym. God, was he sore.
He was five sneezes into the fit, and his right side was aching. He switched from covering with his right arm to his left and pressed his right hand against his side. “EhChuhh! Chuhh! HehhChuchh!” That helped a little. The right upper half of his abdomen had gone from yelling at him for the jerking, twisting, movement down to complaining.
He managed to straighten up for a quick noseblow between this set and the next set. “HehChuh! EhChuhh! ChuhhUhshh. HuhhChushoo!” Sniffling wetly, he stood straight again, reaching right for the tissues and coughing. Four blows later, his nose was clear, his side was throbbing, and he was off in search of ibuprofen.
- Enraptured
“Hihtschoo.” Jamie slipped into bed next to him with a light, airy sneeze. “Hihhtschoo, ahhihhtschoo!” Two stronger ones followed, and she pulled the covers up over her. “Sorry.” She apologized. “I know you’re probably tired of hearing me sneeze by now.” She gave her nose a good, strong blow, and sighed.
“Bless you.” Freddie kissed her cheek gently. “And I never get tired of hearing you sneeze.”
She shot him a strange glance, blowing her nose. “Seriously, you’ve got to get sick of it once in awhile.”
He shook his head. “You’ve got a cute sneeze, baby.”
“Sneezing is not cute. It’s…hahhihtschoo…annoying at best.”
“You’re cute all the time. You e got a perfect sneeze for you…it’s little and cute. All breathy on the inhale, then a stronger tschoo, that lifts up at the end in a soft feminine sound without having a squeaky quality. Even when they’re strong and desperate and you can’t restrain them, they’re still soft. I love how your face scrunches up, how you concentrate on them when they don’t come out right away, how something that small can sometimes consume you totally. I love how the release gets stronger when you’re sick.”
He paused and continued. “I love your gaspy little buildups, and sometimes when there’s no buildup at all. I love the slight pause between intake and release. I love how the single and double sneezes don’t phase you and you just keep moving right through them; I like seeing how the fits are the only thing I’ve seen that slows you down as they totally take you over. And I love the sound. Out of 100 sneezes in a room, I swear I’ll know yours every time…and it’ll still be my favorite.”
She looked at him. “You’re full of shit.” She told him. “Or up to something.”
He swallowed, wondering if he’d said too much. “Want me to talk about your hair next?” He changed the subject.
She snuggled closer to him. There was something about her boyfriend that made him almost too good to be true, but she sensed it was harmless. “No…Hihhhtschooo.” She sneezed, burying her face in the blankets. “This is enough of your bullshit for now.”
- Wary
She was always cautious at Tim’s. Even though the latest round of allergy testing had shown Jamie wasn’t allergic to cats anymore, she still wasn’t quite sure she believed them, despite her lack of symptoms. She’d just been allergic for so many years, that part of her was habited to avoid anything with fur.
She moved her legs to the side as Cashew came brushing up along her. The cat gave her a dirty look, then moved on to Freddie, hopping in his lap.
“Huhh..chushh.” Freddie sneezed, shoving the cat off his lap. “UhhChushhh, huhhchushh!”
Cashew gave him a baleful glare and stalked over to Alex. Alex sighed as the cat began rubbing his legs. “HehhChuh!” He sneezed loudly as the dander worked its way to his nose.
Both men shot a pleading look at Jamie. “Tim?” She called, “can you remove Cashew?”
“Hands are kinda tied up with the food right now.” He called back. “Can’t you do it?”
“HehhChushh!”
“EhChuhhh.”
Alex and Freddie sneezed in unison. Jamie sighed, heading over to Alex and picking up the cat, holding him as far away from her as she could on the trip to Tim’s bedroom.
- Worried
Tim and Alex exchanged worried glances at each other and then back at Jamie as she launched into another spell of sneezes.
“Hihhtschoo! Hiihtschoo! Ihhhtschoo! HuhhIhhtschoo! Ihh-ihh-Ihhhtschoo!” She sighed, wiped her eyes and blew her nose.
She’d been at it for close to an hour. Burst of sneezes, than a short break, followed by another small fit. Both men were starting to get concerned.
“Are you sure you’re ok?” Tim ventured.
She nodded. “I’ll be fine.” She tried to assure him, but here her stuffy voice was less than reassuring. “Mowed lawn plus dusty basement plus high pollen means allergies in overdrive.” She sighed again. “Gonna start ahh…ahhithhtschoo, ihhtschoo, huhihtschoo…Huhh-Huhh-huhhihhschoo!”
“Bless you.” Alex told her.
“Thanks. Benadryl just needs to kick in.” She finished explaining.
- Nervous (Alex, pre 3 Dates)
It was a first date…a semi- blind date to top it off, and Alex was nervous. He’d met Jamie briefly at her office and liked her, so it wasn’t like they hadn’t met, but it had been a 5 minute meeting. The friend setting him up had filled him in on her, but he was anxious. What if, after more than brief discussion, she didn’t like him?
“Hehchuh.” A pause. “Hehchuhh…hhchuhh, heyyuhchuhh.” Three more sneezes tumbled out of him. God, he hoped his allergies weren’t going to act up tonight. He popped a Claritin to be on the safe side, brushed his teeth and headed out to meet her.
- Pathetic
”EhChushh.” Freddie sneezed, wincing at the pain in his throat. “Chushh, Chushh, HuhhChushhoo. Ohhhhhh.” He moaned, taking a sip of water.
“Bless you.” Jamie said from the chair she was curled up in. Freddie was sprawled out on the couch, wrapped in blankets. “That sneezing just won’t let up, will it?”
“No.” Freddie groaned. “And it hurts.” He whined. “My throat is so sore.”
She gave him a sympathetic look.
“My head is pounding. It throbs each time my head jerks forward.” He moaned, coughing weakly. He blew his nose. “And my nose is so tender.” He continued to whine. “I hate this.”
“Just try to sleep.”
“I can’t.” He complained. “Too miserable.”
- Sweat
Tim checked his pockets for tissues and his inhaler before stepping onto the treadmill. Remembering the asthma attack he’d had the last time he’d tried running with a cold, he figured he’d just stick to walking this time. He’d see how it went, then maybe pick up the pace.
He’d been ingrained, growing up, ‘sweat out a cold,’ so that was what he was determined to do now.
“Hahehhshoo. Ehshoo!” Fortunately, the sneezes struck before he turned on the machine, and he blew his nose with one hand before he started walking.
5 minutes later, “Huhhyuhhshoo, Huhhshoo.” They snuck out of him again, and he stumbled, barely able to grab the arm of the treadmill in time to keep from falling. Sighing he stopped the treadmill and blew his nose again.
Maybe he’d be better off on the track that circled the gym. At least that didn’t move.
- Allergic
Freddie always sneezed when he changed the furnace filters. At least half a dozen times, without fail. Usually, he was able to hold them off for the short time it took to change the filter. He’d change the filter, sneeze then head out of the basement.
But today, today was different. He started sneezing just after he pulled out the old filter, unable to stop it. And the sneezes didn’t stop. He struggled with trying to get the filter in between sneezes, finally being successful. He stepped back from the furnace.
“H’Chushh, Chushh, Chushh, Ushh, Ushh…HuhChushoo, Chushhooo. HuhhChshh, Cshh-cshh-cshh-cshh.” He paused, given a chance to gasp for breath.
The worst of it over, he headed for the stairs, sneezing his way up them and into the living room. Jamie heard him and met him with the tissue box. He grabbed several and buried his nose in them.
“HehhChushh, uhhChush,Chushh, Chushhah-Chushh. What is this? EhpChushh, hehhCshh-Chshh-chshh-chshuhh!”
He looked at Jamie with watery eyes. “I always sneeze when I change the filter, but no…hehhChushoo! Not like this.”
She took a tissue and gently wiped his eyes. “Maybe you’re allergic to dust now too. You were never allergic to cats until last year, so, it can happen anytime.
He nodded, sneezing again into his mass of tissues. Another allergy wouldn’t be that bad.
- Milk
”Atchoo!” Ethan sneezed loudly, ruining his glare at Tim.
“You know you need to eat.” Tim said patiently. “I know you have a bad cold. I know you’re not hungry, but you still need to eat.”
“My throat hurts.” Ethan said, petulantly, blowing his nose.
“Milk?” Tim suggested? “What about a glass of milk?”
Ethan nodded. Milk might feel good on his throat. “That might work.” He admitted.
Tim got up and poured him a tall glass of milk. Ethan took a drink and made a face. “This is your whole milk.” He protested.
“More protein.” Tim said simply.
- Ravenous
Alex pawed through the fridge. He had just gotten home from work and he was starving.
A bad cold had killed his appetite for breakfast and lunch but now his stomach had caught up with the idea that he should eat.
He
“Heh-chuhh.” He hastily turned away from the fridge, covering a second sneeze with his wrist. “Chuhh!”
“Bless you.” Alyssa came up from behind him. “Looking for something?”
“Hungry.”
“Sit down; I’ll make you something. What would you like?”
“Heyehhchuhh. Anything.”
- Blanket
Freddie was freezing. He didn’t mind colds, but sinus infections were the worst. The pain on the right side of his face and the fever were driving him crazy. Right now, it was the fever that was getting to him. He could not get warm. He wrapped the blanket tighter around him in a futile attempt to warm himself.
“HehChushoo!” He brought the blanket to his nose, having wrapped himself too tightly to free his hands in time. “Chushoo, uhhChushoo, Chushh, HuhUhChushoo.”
Sighing and sniffling wetly, he freed himself from his blanket cocoon to blow his nose.
- Needle
Ethan sat in the Urgent Care exam room with Dustin as the doctor explained he’d be getting a steroid shot, then sent home on oral steroids for his allergy and asthma exacerbation. After the doctor left, Dustin turned to Ethan. “I don’t want a shot.” He complained, wheezing.
“The doctor thinks it’s best. It’ll open up your airway, then you can breathe better.”
“Don’t like shots.” Dustin sniffled.
“You give them all the time.” Ethan pointed out.
“I’m on the other end of the needle.”
The nurse came in, verified Dustin’s identity and prepped the shot. “Ready?”
“No.”
“He’s ready.” Ethan told her.
“N-no, Ihhm n-not. Tihhhssue, plehhhease.” Ethan noted the hitching in Dustin’s voice and pressed a few tissues into his hand. “HahKishoo-kishoo-kishoo-kshoo-kshoo-kshoo-shoo-shoo…Hakishoo.” His head snapped forward with the first sneeze and his face remained buried in the tissues until he could blow his nose. A few wheezy coughs followed. He nodded at the blessings from Ethan and the nurse. “I’m ready,” he sighed.
- Sports
Ethan sat with Tim and Freddie, watching the hockey game. Tim was clearly invested, and over the years, he had sucked Freddie into the sport. Ethan was just trying to follow the puck and keep track of what was going on, without asking too many questions.
It was a 0-0 game with 6 minutes left in the 2nd, frustrating Tim.
“Hatshoo!” Ethan sneezed as one of the players from Tim’s team shot the puck top shelf and into the net.
Freddie blessed Ethan as Tim cheered, and Ethan looked at Tim, confused, having missed the goal.
“They scored.” Tim explained. “You missed it.” He laughed.
3 minutes into the 3rd, the opposing team scored, and Tim was on edge again. As it ticked down to the final minutes, Tim looked over at Ethan expectantly.
Ethan gave him a quizzical look.
“You sneezed, they scored.” Tim said, simply.
Ethan sighed. “I can’t sneeze on command.”
- Ruin
Freddie was working diligently on the decorations for the party that night. They were celebrating the 100th episode of the show. He had the decorations on the tables, little commemorative gifts for the guests out and was getting ready to hang the banners.
He climbed the stepstool and attached one end to the ceiling, then moved to the other side.
Sniffling as a result of his lingering cold, he climbed back up and prepared to hang the rest of the banned.
“UhhCHushhoo! CHuSHoo!” Two powerful sneezes shook him, and he grabbed the curve of the arch to keep from toppling, grateful for the steady base of the stepstool. He heard the rip of the banner as he lurched forward.
He groaned straightening up. This one was ruined. Off to buy a new one.
- Lovely
He had dragged her out of bed for the awards show. She had protested, of course. She’d spent the week working with a miserable cold, and this was her first chance to rest. But he’d insisted on having her by his side; if he won, he wanted to share the moment with her.
She’d slipped into the gown she’d bought two weeks ago, twisted up her hair, put on her make up and his favorite perfume. She just hoped the makeup would hide her red nose for, at least, awhile.
“Ihhshoo.” She sneezed softly, making her descent down the stairs, followed by a stronger, “Ihhschoo!” which bobbed her head forward with a greater force.
He handed her her clutch, which he had stuffed with tissues. “Bless you.” He said, gently. Even with a raging headcold, she looked lovely
- Hospital
If there was one thing Dustin loved about hospitals right now, it was the easy access to tissues. Sure, they were the rough, sandpapery kind that turned your nose bright red after about 10 blows, but hey, tissues were tissues. And when you forgot to stash your pocket with the good kind because you overslept because of your cold, hey, he’d take it.
He was hunched over at the nurse’s station, charting, when the wave of sneezes overtook him. “HahKishoo-kishoo-kishoo-kshoo-kshoo-kshoo-shoo-shoo-shoo…HahKishoo!”
“Wow…Bless you.” Amber, the nurse sitting next to him said, passing over the hand sanitizer.
He blew his nose and accepted the bottle. “Thanks. This cold won’t let up. I’m at least off the next two days though.”
“Well, hopefully, you’ll get some rest.” She said, sympathetically as the oncoming shift came on for report.
Aggedy Ann 